Dazed and Konfused in Korea

It's 6:45 and I'm awoken by a terrible noise. My alarm clock? No...it's that other alarm...Scott's butt. As the smoke clears, I rush around the apartment getting ready, eat my Cornflakes (oh how I miss Frosted Mini-Wheats) and run out the door. I exit my apartment building and am confronted with a sea of teenagers heading to school. I struggle to wade through the sea. Imagine going into a sports stadium as all the fans are going out. Not pretty. "Hello....hello....nice to meet you....hi....," I respond to each eager student. They love testing their English skills on the mysterious yellow-haired girl--possibly the only one they've ever seen in 'real' life. Apparently as foreigners, teaching English doesn't start and stop at the doors of the school- if we are outside the confines of our apartment we are fair game to every Tom, Dick and Mr. Kim.

After parting the Korean Sea I now face my next challenge: the bus. Once I'm at the bus stop I have to stay completely focused; this is no time for relaxing. In Korea, you've got to be ready, wave that bus down and maybe even run for it, or you'll be left in the dust. Or in my case, on this day, beat down the door. Despite my upside-down signaling skills (Koreans motion people over with their palm facing down, resembling a shooing motion--quite confusing for the ignorant foreigner) the bus creeps on by. I was confused (my typical state of mind in Korea), but quickly snap to and follow the other Korean's lead (my SOP in Korea) and bang on the door. The driver reluctantly opens the door and I throw elbows with nearby grannies just to get on (most Koreans will ignore you and push right past you--unless you've been introduced you don't exist). And... I'm in.

Time to pay. One of my favorite things about Korea--the T-Money card. This little pink card does it all. After putting money on the card you can use it for the bus, taxis and at pay phones by simply placing the card near the reader, even through leather--no swiping necessary. It's amazing...that is, unless the reader makes a hideous beeping noise and yells at you (politely, of course) in Korean. Frantically, I smoosh my purse up against the reader again. More Korean babble! I'm getting the death look from the massive line forming behind me. One more time...yes...the single, quick beep--it's music to my ears. I turn around and....

The bus is packed, as in sardines packed. The only way another person would fit is if they sat on the driver's lap. The next 20 minutes are precarious. The driver weaves in and out of traffic in an effort to get in the left lane (which is by no means faster), only to instantly head back to the right, because the next stop is approaching. Why-I have no idea!?! I like to think it's some sort of challenge he has for himself. It takes every ounce of balance and concentration just for me to remain standing...in 3 inch heels, no less. Succeed I must though, because I refuse to be the foreigner who started the human domino effect on bus 300.

Aaahh (sigh). Twenty stressful minutes later I arrive at school. I have two hours to prepare for my classes that day. That should be just enough time to frantically finish making all my materials. Wait..."There's an assembly right now," Bruce (my Korean co-teacher, AKA babysitter) informs me. So much for my prep time. I suppose sitting confused, "listening" to Korean in the cafeteria for an hour is much more important than getting ready for my classes.

Once I get through my day classes I begin preparing for tomorrow. Then I hear a dreadful noise: a small herd of giggling, screaming....students....they're back! Why?! After five minutes of confused communication with the 3rd graders I gather that they are scheduled to have after school English study. Oh crap. I, of course have nothing prepared, as I was not aware of my hour and a half class that afternoon. Just another fun game the Koreans like to play with foreigners: Don't Tell Them Anything Important. I pull something out of my @$# and squeak through (yet another one of my SOPs in Korea).

All in all it was a good day...I've lowered my standards, or changed them I suppose. I'm just happy to make it to and from school alive each day. Drivers here really are.... Anyway, luckily I have Scott. Seeing him at the end of each day always makes me feel better...that is, until I ask him how his day was....

~Mindy

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