We had been in Thailand for around two weeks and had made our way to the sleepy little island of Koh Lanta (in Thai,
Koh means "island", but I have no idea what Lanta means) off the west coast. Up until this point we had spent a few days in Bangkok where I picked up a guitar for 30 bucks, where we ate 75 cent Phad Thai, and paid $7 a night for a room. According to Mindy, the experienced Thai traveler, $7 was too much. Apparently, leaving the states does not mean we get to leave the crappy dollar behind too. The guitar now only has five strings and has seen its way all the way across Thailand, through the cities, on long bumpy open ocean boat rides, and through down pours. It has made it to Korea safely. Hopefully I will play it again.
Before Koh Lanta we spent three nights on Koh Pi Pi where we scuba dove in some amazing waters, or at least I thought they were amazing until we went scuba diving in the Similan Islands at the end of our trip. So there we were on Koh Lanta lounging by the pool of our cheap $10 bungalow soaking up the sun. By the way, if you are ever in Thailand ensure you stay awake while you are laying in the sun. At one point I woke up, wiped the drool off my shoulder, stared through my waking haze at what I thought were two dead prone flamingos, but were just my two crispy legs. Koh Lanta is a great little island if you are looking for some relaxation, relatively cheap and delicious food (Southern Thailand is a little more expensive than the north), decent beaches, great sunsets, quaint beach bars, and the occasional burka. Yes, I said burka, there is a higher percentage of Muslim's on this island and in the south. I must say I am not only concerned, but a little curious how a woman in complete body coverage, not to mention
black material, is able to remain pious in 95 degree heat. I for one would be pretty pissed and I would at least ask my local mosque for a steady supply of ice packs to alleviate my suffering. Call me culturally insensitive.
At some point, as we sat next to our glistening pool and while I rubbed lotion into my screaming culturally insensitive thighs, we decided to rent a motor scooter. It was still early in the morning when we got the keys to our little machine. As we hopped on the little two wheeled demon I took my rightful place, in the back ;-) Mindy started it up and took off down the bumpy dirt road, my hands attached like eagle talons to the passenger grip on the back of the bike. Considering Mindy has owned a Harley I felt like it would be safer for her to drive. Besides, sitting in the back and just chilling was so relaxing. As we zoomed down the highway, weaving in and out of cars, passing on the right and left, over double yellows, and tailing cars within a few feet we passed many other couples who had rented scooters. What was different was that, as far as I could see, the dude was always in the front. At some point during the trip Mindy asked me, "Do you feel emasculated because you are riding on the back and I am driving?" I had to think about it for a bit, but I just said, "No....should I? I mean if you ask me I am getting the better end of the deal anyway!"
I mean I have a chauffeur! Emasculated?! You mean "smart". But this whole discussion was a moot point in a few hours. After playing darts at a beach bar with a local I decided to jump on the scooter.
Before I explain what happened I want to make clear that earlier in the day I had driven all over the island with no problem. In fact, I was a stellar scooter driver.Okay, I started it up and shot down the dirt road and out towards the highway. I pulled up behind another scooter that was waiting for the road to clear to pull out. After he did, I followed suit and pulled up to the road. It was a little busy, but I wasn't too worried about it. I had to take a right and because they drive on the left hand side I had to cross the street. Well, I looked right and left, waited for a car to pass and just hit the gas. All I remember is Mindy starting by calmly saying, "Ok, look into the turn, look into the turn......OK, LOOK INTO THE TURN,
LOOK INTO THE TURN!! SCOTT!!!" To put it simply I just hit the gas and headed straight across the street. I, maybe, turned 10 degrees to the right, but essentially just shot across two lanes of traffic and hit the ditch. This was only the beginning as I not only failed to hit the brakes at this point, but I hit the gas instead. I did start to look into the turn once I hit the ditch, so we were riding along side the road in a grass ditch. I am sure it looked pretty comical to those driving by: two foreigners on the back of a scooter, screaming for their lives, and in a ditch; yet, not just
in a ditch, but
driving in a ditch. Unfortunately, the scene in the ditch was a little different. I was laughing, trying to hide the fact that I had almost killed us and Mindy was trying to keep from killing me. I hopped off and Mindy grabbed the handle bars, hit the gas and directed the scooter out of the ditch, but not before getting a bruise on the back of her calf from a passenger peg. That was the last time I drove a scooter in Thailand.
The rest of the day we drove around Lanta. Coincidentally, we rented the scooter on the first day of the Thai Lunar New Year, SongKran. During this celebration Thais stand on the side of the road with huge buckets of water and a mixture of baby powder and water. When people on scooters come by, and there are thousands of them, you had better follow their hand directions and slow down. If you don't, and a few times we didn't, you will get a bucket of water full-force across your face. If you slow all the way down they will walk up to you and cover you in the white paste. After that you are free to drive off. Mindy said that some foreigners get upset during SongKran. We were also splashed by trucks coming the other way. They had 55 gallon drums of water in their beds and people crowded around it with buckets, laughing, and throwing huge sheets of water onto passers by, including us. The water was great in the oppressive heat and made the rest of the day exciting even if it was a little scary to occasionally get splashed at over 50 km/h. It was such a great memory. Just think what would happen in the states under these same circumstances: There I am, standing in 85 degree heat on Holly Street in Bellingham, with a buck full of water and throwing it on passing bikers, then attacking and painting them with baby powder. I would be arrested for "reckless behavior" and "endangerment" by a bike cop, hand cuffed, thrown in jail, arraigned, and I would have to get a lawyer and plug up legal system.
I will leave you with this parting bit of wisdom. Remember, look into the turn as you may never know what is coming. Whether it be baby powder, a bucket full of water, or a ditch it is always better when you see it coming!
-Scott
th Korea's version of Disneyland a try. I read about Everland online and was rather skeptical that it would provide anything more than the "thrill" of an elementary school bake sale. Yes, the website listed roller coasters, but really how cool can a South Korean theme park be? I expected a toned down Enchanted Village. What do Koreans know about thrills and adren
aline? The most thrilling thing I had seen a Korean do was maybe walk up to me, say hello in English and then run off giggling. Well, apparently I am a fool because by the end of the day I had nearly lost my voice, I was completely drained and every muscle in my body was aching. Always leaning towards self-preservation rather than risk bodily harm the few roller coasters I have been on in my life have been a difficult sell. Somewhere between dental work and voluntary circumcision. Then again, every ride I have been on I have absolutely loved. It is like getting kicked in the groin, loving it, and asking for more.
