Xenophobia and Sitting in the Back of the Bus

First and foremost, I would like to take a moment to discuss the utter tragedy that was the voting for "Who is Coolest?" I find it hard to believe that I lost to a sadistic dictator and a short, overly opinionated blond haired woman. For the sake of democracy I, as Supreme Blog Dictator, have made the results null and void as I fear there was tampering with voting machines. There were also rumors that lobbying was utilized by certain parties and I would like to take this moment to take a stand against those that would dirty the good name of democracy for personal gain by utilizing these means. I would like to submit the following evidence order to further the case of tainted voting: my own mother did not vote for me. My OWN mother! I am not so much saddened by my loss as I am saddened that the democratic system - a system that has evolved from ancient Greece, through the Parliaments of England and the cantons of Switzerland- has failed you, the people. Please, do not weep for me, but rather weep your country's declining morals. I can only hope that the next voting opportunity will breed the best of my constituents and those eager to play an active role in the democratic process.

For future votes, steps have been put in place that will keep such outrageous transgressions in check and in line....with the Supreme Dictator's wishes.

Speaking of voting I have been riding the bus a great deal in Korea (poor transition, I know). Living amongst South Korea's 48 million people in a space the size of Washington State requires a comprehensive understanding of public transportation. I do not have this understanding and am therefore completely lost. Failing to know which bus to take can lead to you ending up in the wrong place with NO idea how to get back and even less of an idea how to communicate this to anyone. This is important because everyday I take a bus and I am confronted with a difficult question, "Where do I sit?" Simple? No. Never before my morning coffee. I have sat in the front because of its quick and easy access and I am lazy. I have sat in the middle on days of indifference. And I have sat in the back on days I wish to retain my anonymity as a minority. On one such day of decision making Mindy and I chose to situate ourselves in the back of the bus. It was quiet, comfortable, the seats were wider, and we felt slightly more "chauffeured". Plus, the "carnival ride feeling" was greater in those seats. It is hard to understand this last one unless you are in my head. These qualities beg the question, "Why is everyone so up in arms about sitting in the back of the bus?" Personally, I like it just fine! It is through this lens that I would like to begin the following discussion. It is entitled, "What the Hell is Up with Korean culture? Or Racism as Examined through Honest Personal Reflection."

I have a Masters in Political Science and Comparative Politics. I have studied other cultures. Aren't I supposed to be more "learned" and tolerant. I am not and I must not have gotten my money's worth because for brief moments here I feel like a racist. I heard you all let out a collective *gasp*! Well, have you ever been told one thing when someone actually meant something else because they were too embarrassed to say the truth?!... of course you have! But have you ever lived in a culture who is populated with many - not all, but many - people who strictly follow this rule? Probably not and if you have and don't feel that way I am going to kindly ask you to stop reading my blog because you are better than I am and I can't stand that! Before I go any further, I need to stress, that no, of course I am not a racist towards Koreans and, I would like to think that I am not towards others as well. I am simply being honest and giving voice to the part of me that has, at times, these types of reactions. This is not to say that I condone these brief thoughts they are just natural reactions to being gawked at, singled out, being out of the cultural loop, being alone, and not understanding. Ironically, this post is an attempt for me to understand. Further, as all my posts go, it should be read with a grain of salt.

My greatest frustration comes when asking for directions or help at work from those that can understand me. Many times when I ask a Korean if they know something the answer is always a resounding "Yes", or a variation of the affirmative. The problem is that with many people the answer is always this way, which means one of two things: 1) I am always getting what I want from them 2) they are lying and being nice. As much as I wish it was Door #1 all evidence points to Door #2. Yes, we have all experienced this from people in the States. In fact, maybe some of you are more prone to this type of "yes" mentality. I for one, have my moments with it. What I am addressing though is culture not occurrence. Yes, degree does make a difference. This comes from the Korean tradition of "saving face." I heard about the phenomenon of "saving face", but had no idea it was so pervasive and overt. Much of the younger generation is much less ruled by it, but I work with adults as bosses, so this leads to problems. I am talking about a culture that is institutionalized and that will tell you what you want to hear to the point that you will be misled and lost because of the fear of saying, "Gee, I don't know." All because that person wants to save face. Get a spine! I can't describe to you the frustration of teaching in a class and asking for materials that you need, being told they have them, then finding out, all too late, that they never did. Or, being given directions to a city far away only to find out they never knew the directions in the first place and just, essentially, made them up. "Oops, sorry I just didn't want to say 'no'. Hope that didn't cause you any trouble." It is infuriating for someone such as myself: It is something that is foreign to me, that I don't understand, and that, naturally, as a result of these factors, I don't like.

My tolerance for things such as these is made even weaker due to other cultural differences. For instance, women are relegated to more a 2nd class citizen here. In that states women are slowly making there way out of the economic disparity with men though they still make 80 cents to a man's $1. In Korea, many women are quiet, humble, polite, laugh with a hand over their mouth and are submissive to the man of the house.....Hey, sounds like a good dream I had once!! Ha, kidding. In fact, it is really denigrating and frustrating. Mindy is looked over and not asked to participate in any of the sporting events when I am around because I get asked and she is not even considered because she is thought to not want to play. If I am not around, she is not asked at all. In so many ways, women, in my opinion, are treated with a great deal of disrespect.

"Why are you complaining, women can't play sports! You are supposed to sit there, cook and look pretty damnit!"

Yeah, you go machismo.

Further, from what I have seen, men do not like to be criticized by women in front of other men because it can make them feel denigrated. Really, well tit for tat my friend, too bad you invited Mindy over here because she is going to give you an earful! Let the denigration begin! Am I an ignorant foreigner who does not understand the subtleties of another culture? Yes, I am. Does this mean I can't give me two cents worth? Well, apparently that depends on who you are asking.

To keep this from becoming anymore than the novel that it has become let me close this up. I like the back of the bus and some people, for good reason, don't and that is OK. But just because I prefer the back of the bus don't try to make me enjoy the front just because it is the culturally sensitive thing to do. I do have my moments of xenophobia and I don't like them. I am going to work on being more tolerant. But I can appreciate our differences without embracing them.

....Ok, it is here that I have now gotten to the real point of this email. I am lobbying for your vote in future elections. Be it out of pity or the justified disdain of past results, I am going to appeal to your better half....Vote Pelton in '08.

-Scott